Ode to a youth event

This isn’t an Ode, but “Essay to a youth event” doesn’t have the same ring to it. It is however a very long self indulgent blog, so really don’t feel you have to read it all, but if you want to please do, or just add your own memories of the past few youth weekends.

Yesterday was the end of an era.

Not sure I would describe it is as the end of a chapter as I don’t think my life works quite like that – as so much would overlap. And it’s not the end, but that’s another story .

Disclaimer! This is going to be full of Methodist Jargon – I will try to explain as I go along and may also be repeating stories I’ve told before, but sometimes you have to hear everything together.

Firstly, it was my birthday last week, that is important – but I’m not going to focus on that today, another blog there too.

When I started writing this blog I was sitting watching Strictly and eating take away (which I paid for despite it being Boyfriend’s turn to cook!) Yes, I thought I’d tell you as it’s always nice to know there is a happy ending. But I’m going to start my story about 11 years ago. The weekend of my 13^th birthday. Donkey Derby was my first link to MAYC (as it was then) and Connexional Methodism, with the youth weekend. 

Skipping forward to summer 2006, a very important conversation happened as someone turned up at my front door trying to persuade me to go to Methodist Youth Conference (MYC). If I’d decided not to bother I think know my life would have been completely different. You’ll see!

So November 2006 a week after my 18^th birthday I went off to Norwich in a car with two lads from my district. My memories include a youth pres in bright trousers, discussions on the Godfrey Report – with the exec members taking their tops on and off a lot! The posh meal on the Saturday night, lending an ecumenical rep my towel, sleeping on a school floor – and getting quite a bit of sleep. Being supported to go for exec – by lovely district boys. Hustings with questions about potatoes and streetlights, being voted on – and the moment the returning officer came to tell me I’d been voted in, the funny moment in the handover when the VP muscled in, and talking to the new youth pres on the stairs queuing for lunch.

5 exec meetings (including the legendary car journey with step by step 2 and the Save Methodist Youth Work petition...) and some YPS reference group meetings later and we were on the way to Cardiff. This was also the start of my fairytale. This was where I met Boyfriend; due to others being delayed I was the first to arrive at the station where I first saw him – he’d seen me a year earlier during Hustings in the big chairs that made me look even smaller than I am. That weekend is a blur of spending hours at the station, finishing the presentation about the YPS for the next morning – which included Harry Potter - and discussions that led to DYEs being suggested as a name for the employed people. There was pizza, worship, business, I even remember being told of by the chair for not being in the right place. This was the year we didn’t vote for a Youth Pres and gained 5 new exec members – most of which were new boys – rather than the experienced girls we were expecting.

Another year of Youth Exec meetings, Breakout, and speaking at Big Conference just before the big YPS vote.

Northampton was the last ever MYC. A strange event for many reasons. For one boyfriend and I got together less than a week earlier and no one knew. Little exec sister had made me a shell cake that those in the office enjoyed. The vote for the new Youth Pres was very close and was tricky for the exec to vote for – being between two of our own. We had workshops; I ran the “understanding MYC” session 3 times, as the first one started an hour early so had to do two more at the designated times. We launched the campaign for the Methodist Nunnery – as the mock resolution. My teddy sat on the main desk. And all of the exec girls (except maybe the new Youth Pres) and probably some of the lads cried through worship as we were the last ever exec. There was also lots of dancing that year, the returning officer was disappointed cos there was no custard and the exec all got dressed up very smart –the pampering in one of the girls’ rooms was great fun. I was driven to and from this weekend and was grilled on the way home about my relationship that was now out in the open.

It was at this point I decided that I needed some time out, so I took myself off the YPS reference group. The summer of 2009 I was asked if I would co-run the detached youth work team at Breakout the following summer and help facilitate at the first Youth Assembly (MYA). This led to some late night driving across England for the planning weekend of Durham.

Mid November arrived and so did more floods, but my car half full of delegates – as others wouldn’t come as their parents didn’t trust my car to get us to Durham –we did fine,  arrived late Friday evening at Durham. I must say this weekend is probably the low of the story. I know some young people enjoyed it, but it felt like a backward step – looking back what we had done was thrown the baby out with the bath water, wanting to move away from MYC to something new we lost something. This event also included tears, these more in frustration. Due to no one’s fault we didn’t have a full time youth pres to preside over the event, so much of it was adult led, the youth pres elections were very complicated and I remember a number of us were annoyed there was no grace at mealtimes! We learnt a lot that year. There were good moments too – late on the Saturday when the 18pluses who were staying on site (as many had to be put into a local hotel as the event was over booked accidentily) we ate ginger birthday cake out of a glass bowl, and talked about the usual Methodist geeky stuff.

Then we came to Breakout 2010 – another last. Though me and Oggy had a fab weekend with the Linkies, many of my memories were from the campsite rather than the event grounds, but one memory that will last a life time is when we turned the orchard into my late night garden, with tea lights in jam jars and LED balloons. It was truly special, the conversations, the games, the whole experience. All too soon the event was over and it was then that I was done with volunteering for the Methodist Church for a while.

MYA 2010 in Swindon was my first since 2006 that I didn’t have a job.  I missed having the office to hang out in, but I didn’t miss the stress. The train journey had been interesting.  The highlights included spontaneous and slightly rebellious worship that the VP’s Husband joined us for. I’m pretty sure this was a cry-free year! This was the first time I felt old - I had just graduated and being in a session about the future with 16 year olds was tricky. I also remember sitting in a window on a value continuum about Presidency. This was the first year we trialed the voting pads – who wants to be a millionaire style, and the team forgot Wales existed. I went this year wanting to be good enough that I wouldn't have to go again if I didn’t want to. After Durham I felt like we’d ruined MYC and replaced it with something worse, however after Swindon I knew there was still work to do, but that it would be as good (while being totally different) if not better than MYC.

Fast forward another 12 months and 3Generate (3Gen) was born  - the new name for Children and Youth assembly, starting at the age of 9 and going up to 23. So off we went to Ludlow railway station for a new way of working – this time as a member of the 18+ stream – and still not volunteering, but with a very different and distinct role- as the girlfriend of a Youth Pres candidate. I arrived late after a train journey that involved ukulele worship and so we missed the evening worship to eat food. I remember not sleeping well due to one room mate (mentioning no names – well not that I ever do, but you know) snored both nights. The sessions were challenging and I still have the final evaluation on my fridge, challenging me to be real – something I was challenged on in the preaching session and I meant to look into what I can do about Poverty. However my big thing that came out of that weekend, which led to me crying through most of worship including getting communion off the district chair who very delicately held my hand for a little longer than normal when handing me the bread and scaring an OPP as she handed me the wine, was planning for the future. Due to the fact Boyfriend did not become Youth Pres 2012/3 the future had been thrown open once again, at this point neither of us had a job past April. It was the next day that he started his Christmas temp job at his local pizza making restaurant. Just like to say what fab chaplains we have!

It was just after this that I decided I’d had enough years off and was ready to once again volunteer for the event. So I joined the 18+ planning group. I was also invited as a youth worker to join the 8-17s consultation group, as this was the new way of getting the children and young people to plan the event.

So Friday finally rolled up and off I went to get a bus, 2 trains and a minibus to somewhere not very far from a place I used to call home. After checking in, being shown to my room by a hansome steward, designing a mug, finding some tea it was time to go to the all2gether and be2gether, the funky names for the opener for everyone and worship, we were in gen groups – I was facilitator of gen group 26! (Which has just occurred to me that that was something we’ve played with over years - like the dinner tables at Durham, and is something that was very MYC.) After that we watched some of Children in Need, then bed!

Saturday started with me getting up first, having a shower and making a cup of coffee before breakfast, where I had cereal! Then me and my co-worship leader led worship and I did the longest notices ever and we played human bingo with a twist. We heard Mumford and Sons sing I will wait, and I believe the aim was for us to think about us waiting on God, but for me the night before I’d kinda been winded by God’s presence – just like whoosh! Wow God is here! So for me was like God singing I will wait to me, that he’s always there waiting for me to engage, not intrusive but patiently waiting for me, for us to want to be with him. This was followed by a very interesting session about living sustainably and everyone I’ve spoken  to about what they were taking away from the weekend who talked about the input mentioned this session. The video about the no impact man was so incredible, could you imagine not using lifts, trains, the tv for a whole year? Apparently it brought the family closer together, but wasn’t always easy.  After the bacon butty break we got into the cohabitation session, this again was really interesting discussing our definition of cohabitation and looking at some case studies, obviously with such a topic you have to be careful with what you say, unfortunately Boyfriend (who was leading this session) told everyone I couldn’t enter the quiz as ‘I’ve already done it with her.’ The laughter started when someone realised what he said and it slowly went around the room with me getting redder and redder. After this was lunch – a rather unappetising chicken casserole. After that it was time to set up for the justice village, when one of my MWiB friends came to join me to talk to young people about Children Unite, to get people to sign gloves, draw around their hands and find out more about child domestic workers. This did mean I missed grill the youth pres candidates’ session.

After setting down the justice village I arrived a few minutes late to the relationships sofa chat. It was great that young people can share experiences, questions and confusion while throwing a duck around the room. A nice chat with the expert facilitator about another event I had seen him at was very helpful, and then off to tea which was very quiet as we were eating later than the younger groups. Then there was a session that never happened followed by a chat about the day, which led to conversations slightly later about how we adapt the event to what people want. We left the room so that some people could pray and had time to chat with people before it was time to go on the bouncy slide / assault course, where I raced twice without my glasses and came 2^nd both times –out of 2, with my competitor finishing before I’d even got to start the last climbing wall / slide. I also hurt my hip.

After this the exciting late night chats happened, a group choosing not to go to worship but instead try and tease out what we thought God was saying about what we had to do – in this case using our passion as a form of discernment, pushing on doors to see if things were possible. Thats all I’ll say now but things are afoot. I went to bed late after staying up till Boyfriend was allowed to go to bed then late night chats in our bedroom, about boys, the day, voting, Methodism, and other such things you’d expect in a girls dorm.

Sunday morning felt very early, we stripped beds, packed, saw a beautiful view over the misty lakes and got our cooked breakfast J. Then it was time for voting, before going off to our own 18+ room for the final session about PEGs – Personal reflections on the weekend, what we are going to take to our home church Environment and how that is all held together by God the hinge. The planning team then read the evaluation forms, seeing what we thought we had totally planned was not understood the way we saw it, but hey, that event management for you.

Closing worship was fab, time in our Gen Groups looking at the covenant prayer, that I know I’ve blogged on before, and I only very nearly cried once – when asked what I had taken from the weekend. And communion in mixed groups which meant I got to sit between two good friends, one who gave me the bread and the other the wine – as I was opposite the chaplain who had started with both. Worship over it was time for food, and the long goodbyes. I also went in hunt of my mug, that I had to go though the bin to get back. We left the venue on a bus of friends, got the 3 trains back, and even though it was 9 minutes late we made our first connection as the train we needed was behind it! I got Hot Chocolate at the station I hate the most, and then walked very fast across local city to get the bus, and home about 6ish! Boyfriend who I’d told had to cook tea as he got home an hour before me decided we would order take away. My mum rang and I mumbled about being tired down the phone at her, so she said she’d ring another time, and I went off to bed. Shattered after a very long but amazing 6 year journey.

If you have made it to this point then you deserve a medal! At 2828 words this is my longest blog ever I’d think. I assume if you’ve got this far you are part of the journey somewhere so thank you got your part and here’s to the future, cos you never know what might happen next!

growing old

I don’t know about you but I love old people. Well mostly! As a minister's daughter I spent years saying that I didn’t want to spend time with all the old fogies in the church. Then I moved to my university city and spent many Saturday mornings with a bunch of older folk. And now in my little village I go to a weekly coffee morning where I’m the youngest by two generations most weeks. By some I’ve been adopted as a granddaughter, by others I’m the techy / mobile expert. Some think it’s rude to mention the struggle they have getting on and off the toilet, others tell me of the husband’s fondness of their behind. I have some – one particularly who is probably reading this and is going to tell me off again for suggesting he is old who tells me often that it’s all about common sense, and he is right. I love the wisdom of people who were born (much) earlier than me.

Why do I tell you this you ask? Well maybe you didn’t, but I like to explain why I’m thinking what I’m thinking, or where my thinking stemmed from. Yesterday I was on my way home from a weekend with boyfriend which I will come back to in a bit. So en route I stopped in at my grandparents’ house. I got caught up on the family gossip, was fed (which was beans on toast and I have 1 and ½ slices of toast – the extra ½ to fatten me up!) and generally chatted. Now I’ve come to believe that my granny’s stories all have a thread of truth in them, but I generally after visiting Granny have to ring my parents to check I wasn’t a horrible teenager, or they aren’t upset about something from before I was born. I’ve also found that old people also sometimes don’t have the limits we would so I learnt some things that I was quite happy not knowing.

All these thoughts were embedded within a weekend of sunshine and ceremonies. Saturday was the 3rd wedding of the year (out of 5) and it was great to see boyfriend’s Uni friends get married, after a lovely ceremony where the Vicar got the groom’s name wrong and told us to remember the significance of the blue rose – which she didn’t tell us, a whole bunch of methsoccers of old went out for a lovely meal, if you ignore the small portion sizes. The evening do was lovely, more food, dancing and J20s. After dropping friends off all over the city and nearly going through a red light – I didn’t, and actually earlier in the day someone had who then nearly went into the side of me, wasn’t a great driving day really! So yeah, after dropping friends off we went back to boyfriend’s house where the laptop wasn’t working and mother-out-of-law was trying to get stuff printed.

Sunday started with church and a christening, being introduced to many of boyfriend’s friends, and being support techy. Can I just say as an aside that I love boyfriend a lot because he tapes down cables and I’m a health and safety freak. Now I’m not always a fan of christenings as it feels like the church is being used by families, making promises that they don’t mean and we can’t keep for them. However it was great to see the church so full – literally standing room only. The minister did a great service linking the family’s passion of football to prayer. I also don’t admit this often so I hope he appreciates it but maybe boyfriend was right when we discussed infant baptism the other day, maybe the church should be there and be excited that people still want a Christian ceremony to celebrate their child’s birth.

After that we went back to the local city for a festival with some more friends. It was a lovely and sunny afternoon, catch up, and I had my first ever hog roast, followed by ice cream – yummy! We said goodbye to our friends, and then boyfriend and I went out on a date night. We ate popcorn, saw ‘seeking a friend for the end of the world’ and then went to the popular restaurant that sells Italian food that boyfriend can get cheap! This led to conversations about the film, and if the world was ending what would we do, expect and all those sorts of things. Now I’m a planner, my diary is generally full of what’s happening months in advance, would I still be doing what I’ve got planned in the world was gonna end in 3 weeks time? Monday’s meeting about 3Gen in November might have been a waste of time, but then is it? When you spend time with friends, have fun, share sweets and generally be with people.

I live like I’m going to grow old, nothing is rushed – well apart from being a bit last minute. I’d love to be an old person, the freedom to say things you can’t when you are young. I don’t however want the aches and pains but that’s a different issue all together.

Maybe what I’ve learnt it to seize the day. I don’t want to live regretting things I never did, or was too busy planning the future to enjoy the present. As in the film I want to spend my days, seeking friends, seeking love and living for now.

All Change

Before we begin, I'm not going to say sorry, but I am going to warn you
a, my proof reader is away
b, this is long and rambley
c, it makes sense to me, and its my blog and I'm in control here, but if it doesn't for you hopefully normality will be returned on the next blog.



Life often seems to go in waves.
Let me give you an example, in the last few years I've known many church people who were turning 40, then this year my friends who are still in their 30s seem to all have been married 10 years - well 3 couples at least.
Or in youth work, you may have a group of 11 year olds join the youth club and you work with them for 5 years and in that time get some kids who are 2 or 3 years younger, but not one year younger.
Live goes in waves.

Last time I remember feeling like everything was changing and I was out of control of it was at the about October 2010 - I know the timing as I remember sitting in a certain bedroom. 2010 I had 5 addresses, at work we were going through the starts of the changes to form the new circuit that now exists. So I was moving house a lot, and changing line manager, and generally feeling a bit out of control of everything.

Now I think for me this is the thing. Change can be exciting, for example I was instrumental in the end of MYE and the formation of the DYEs. That was exciting change, those of you who knew me in 2007/2008 will know the YPS steering group was my main passion. Though I know it also stressed me out a lot. (I apologise for the Methodist jargon and whichever ground rule that was!)

My issue isn't change, it's control. I am a control freak.

I may have said this before but when I'm feeling out of control I like to go for a drive, it calms me down as I know at that time I'm in control of my car, speed, direction etc. and linking back to one of the MWiB blogs I did, getting lost by myself is less stressful than getting lost of the Sat Nav and me disagreed as then I'm not in control.


Anyway back to present day. I'm yet again at a place where everything is changing. There have been a few announcements in the past week about people moving on, and I know that if I find a job I could be the other end of the country or even in Wales.
Just feels like at the moment the wave is all about change.
The CD in my car currently is Andy Flannagan and my fave song on this cd has the line - 'we are changed to be the change you promise'

My aims for 2012 were meant to change me, make me healthier, fairer, and more talented. But again they were changes I wanted to make.

I know sometimes I can't be in control and hopefully God is - depending on the interviewers understanding of God's will.
We don't go through this alone, and we don't go through it without reason. Today I challenged young people to change their communities, their prayers for the world covered most of the map and I am constantly amazed at young people's commitment to prayer and to action.
We watched a clip from Evan Almighty where he is talking to God (Morgan Freeman!!) and God laughs at his plans. Makes me think that as much as I want to be in control, that God needs to be ultimately in charge, maybe that's why everything feels so change-y, cos I need to let go of control. There's kinda a boat at see image in my head and I need to stop trying to steer in a storm and give God control.

I guess what worries me is I feel stressed when I'm not in control and someone else is - maybe that's why I get travel sick (hmm, sorry random tangent will think about that elsewhere). Maybe my prayer needs to be for God's peace to take hold. For God to calm the storm in my worries as well as the storm of change - or at least guide me safely through.

And peace brings me on to Boyfriend...

Boyfriend has had a ... day (I don't know what the word is as I don't think he knows yet really). Its hard to see someone you love, who is so far away, and you can't talk to go through something that looks difficult. But I know its life changing, and he's being changed to be the change God promises. I just prayer that as he sleeps tonight he will be rested for the rest of the week, be refreshed fro the next day and be transformed further so God can use him to be the change in this World

Coming Home

Many months ago I went through my diary and found a totally free weekend! I plan my life out in great detail in my diary, if it’s not in there it doesn’t happen. I don’t bother taking appointment cards because to be fair they are just something else to lug around and I might as well write it straight into my diary.

So I decided that my free weekend would be best used on a holiday! Therefore me and boyfriend went camping this weekend– yes in March! When we booked it I hadn’t noticed it was Mothers Day, but actually this was quite apt. We went camping on a basic but nice campsite (the toilet was plumbed in and not a portaloo!), where we were the only tent, and as the weekend got wetter I saw why the other 10 or so groups there had brought caravans and parked at the top of the field.

Being long distance, me and boyfriend don’t go on many dates, but we got the tent up and went off to find a chippy before deciding a local pub made more sense and had burgers. Much to boyfriend’s dismay we couldn’t find a Weatherspoons though. [my proof reader says this is NOT TRUE!!]

By 10pm we were in our sleeping bags as it was so cold and we’d both forgotten to bring some cards. Though I remember talking about the colour of the sky, I’m so rural nowadays I’ve forgotten that light pollution in big cities changes the sky’s colour!
Saturday dawned well rained, but we ventured out of the tent when it stopped to eat cereal, make lunch and meander across the countryside to visit my uncle and auntie/Godmother and 2 youngest cousins in time for tea. We did manage on the way over to look at birds where I got accused of being my father’s child (Which I am!) and bought a dress for one of this year’s many weddings and a book. There were a few moments when I recognised where we were, memories of car journeys, or shopping for post-its.

We had a lovely evening and boyfriend even ate Indian food, and got to watch most of the rugby - even if he missed the tries due to eating. I called a lion a tiger and had a good catch up with the family. All too soon we had to head back to the cold tent where I didn’t sleep well and even woke up, middle of the night after dreaming about a huge meal being made for me but not getting to eat it, really hungry and the food was all in the car – a wet 5 meters away.

Sunday and the real reason we had chosen that area arrived. Though started with the trudge up hill will one of the favourite books of my favourite 22 month old going through my head. Which goes something along the lines of “Father Christmas needs a wee, he’s being drinking drinks since half past 3, at number 1, 1 hot choc – yum...”

Boyfriend and I were on MYE together back in 2007-2008 and our meetings were at a place I called home the first time I arrived in the car park. Yardley Hastings United Reform Church and Crossways Centre was the aim of our pilgrimage to Northamptonshire. We arrived a bit early so drove over to Castle Ashby to see the roads we used to walk in the middle of the night.

We rang the church doorbell and were greeted by Jenny who took a few moments trying to place us. It was so nice to be home, in a place that had mothered me. The service was lovely, the people as friendly as I remembered and the coffee hot! And we rewrote on the wall we’d written on years before.

Then it was time to leave again, we went into a local city window shopped for ages, drove round many many roundabouts and finally dropped boyfriend off at train station. This was not the end of the weekend though.

I drove from there to a road I used to live on to collect brother from work and take him to his house – via a pizza place (yummy tuna pizza) and we then decided to surprise our mum by driving up to see her for about 14 hours. She lives in a place I’ve never lived though it’s looking like I might in the future if I don’t get my act together and find a new job. We didn’t quite manage to surprise her liked we hoped as she arrived as I was trying to hide my car behind the house. But still it was a very lovely evening.

The next morning after dropping brother off at station and buying more petrol I drove home, to where I live, but you could say I never really left.

what if... say yes.

I started writing a post yesterday about some stuff, but think that needs more time and wanted to reflect on something that happened in my youth work session this lunch time.

We had a guest with us so after bop it I got my question ball out and had a chance to find out a bit more about the girls I work with. One question was name 3 significant times of your life. The girl wasn't sure what significant meant so I explained it as important. So she mentioned 3 important times but it got me thinking.

I was chatting the other day with a friend about which moment do you get back to if you think about what if. Mine takes me back to standing in the door way of my parents old house - a place I called home for 11 years when a church Member - Sue, came to the door and persuaded me to go to MYC back in 2006. I don't know if she knows what a difference she made to my life. There are so many moments and decisions that can change us, and that one didn't seem so big, but really was. It was the first time I went away without feeling home sick - preparing me for Uni, it was the first time my lovely boyfriend saw me - and a year later at the same event when we met, its the place I met some of my best friends who are practically family. I couldn't imagine who I would be if that hadn't happened... imagine me in 2008 without the YPS!

Its like the doctor who episode - about which way Donna turned at the end of the road in her car. So after the most recent post about learning to say No, I hope you say yes to the things that will truly change your life.

No.

I mentioned a while ago I was going to a retreat where I would have to split my life into 10 chapters. And last Saturday I went on aforementioned retreat, was a great day and I loved having the time to reflect on my life. I may come back to the 10 chapter titles but right now I'm going to focus on the one I labelled 'No.'

'No' was the from MYC 2008 to the start of Feb in 2009. It was the time that I stopped doing a lot things and actually learnt to say no. I stepped off of the YPS reference group, and exec finished, I didn't become a DYE. I was offered a position at a group at uni and decided that it wasn't right for a number of reasons so said no to that too. This time ended with me agreeing to take the job I have now. But those 3 months where I said no prepared me to start saying yes ago. I would like to point out I had just started a relationship at this time - saying yes then was good! :D Also during this time I watched the Nooma Shells which I thought sums it up well.

My aims for 2012 have a mixture of Yes's and No's in them. Saying no to non-fair trade chocolate isn't always easy, but I am really trying!!

I've nearly been here 3 years and with the change over of staff I've spent more time reflecting over my time here to enable the new staff to understand my role. Quite a lot of these conversations include me saying, well there was work there but I stopped it, or it ended. Maybe that is my place, to stop things, give it some time and enable work to restart refreshed in the future. One example of this is I let one of my volunteers sit down, I had a meeting cancelled one evening in January 2010 and went round to see this volunteer, we chatted and she talked about how she wanted to step down and was actually planning to move out of the village - and country! That evening when I could have easily been at home or elsewhere meant that she could step down from a role she had had for many years. And yes we coped without her, it has enabled others to take a lead so it all worked out well.

In the same way my new youth club has just started up and has 10 on the books in 2 weeks!

Things must end, there must be a time to rest and then new good things can grow in the place.

I've found saying no generally does more good than harm, as long as it gives you the chance to say yes to the right things.

How am I?

The tagline to my blog is - a journey into what it really is that changes us, and what working as a professional youth worker can really do.

I wrote that almost 3 years ago when I decided to blog about my new job. You may know that youth work jobs are only 3 years long and therefore I'm getting ready to move on - maybe. So I obviously did bad at blogging the journey!

I've been reflecting after news of another person leaving their job, after many others recently moving on, about what difference things make. How different am I since I started this job? since I arrived at University? Since I joined exec? (maybe that's for another post!)

I often wonder what life would have been like if one thing was different, and I usually go back to the conversation on my front door step in the summer when I was 17 that made me decide to go to MYC in the first place.

This leads on to what makes me me. I'm going to a retreat in January and one thing we will do there (I'm on the planning team so I know!) is writing my life in 10 chapter titles. There are the obvious big things that made me who I am, my brother being born! spending time with relatives, moving house, becoming a ministers daughter, certain friendships I've made along the way - and the games we've played, the memories I have. The high school years, the options I took, my work experiences, the award schemes, my first boyfriend, my first kiss, the interviews for uni's, MYC and MYE, my uni friends, chaplaincy, my placements, the YPS -which did more for me personally before it even existed, Breakout, Greenbelt, competition, working in London, Matt, Aber, Nay, call to preach, living with LB, church family, MWiB. (I realise that's more than 10!)

Slight tangent warning! Then there are the things that happened - like as Vicky Beeching blogged about the internet - http://vickybeeching.com/blog/the-last-generation-who-remember-pre-internet-society/

Who would I be if none of them had happened...? maybe I'd be a better person, I'd certainly be different, I wouldn't know many of the people I do particularly if one or two were changed.

I guess this isn't Who am I? but How am I?

day 0

I've decided to blog again for a number of reason's
1, I had a diary but went through a rough patch so stopped
2, I had a blog, but then I started uni and haven't written anything on it since the first friday.
3, I wish I had tracked my YPS journey
4, Blogs are safer than diaries - It won't be really personal and you expect others to read it!
5, I've got my first professional youth work job, and want you (whoever you may be) to travel with me.

Basically a few days ago I went for an interview, and I didn't get the job, but I did get offered another one, so assuming I get good references and the paper work is sorted on April 20th I will be a working girl! This is on top of my degree work and everything else going on in my life.

Somehow blogging is more fun than my reflective journals I need to do for placement!

So here we go, this is the start of the journey, a new chapter, and there was me wondering what I would do after MYE (Methodist Youth Executive).

Rach xXx