Stop and apply handbrake – review of 2013

When you learn to drive you are taught the difference between give way and stop. The best way to show the examiner that you know the difference is to apply the handbrake at a Stop sign, to show you have come to a complete stop. Whereas at a Give way you pause, look and if it’s safe go.

At the moment life feels a bit non-stop. It might not be the case it might just be I’m focusing on different things and in my spare time I’m now knitting (something I learnt in 2013) rather than blogging and in my new job I’m driving less, and driving was my thinking-of-blogs time.

Looking back, each year is that bit different to the others, I’m not saying on December 31^st things stop and January 1^st other things start but there are definite treads in each year.

2010 was the year of five addresses, I graduated, went full time, and at the very end lived on my own.

2011 was the year things started. I got my passport and went to South Africa, MWiB came into existence.

2012 was the year of interviews – well eight weeks of it was anyway, with seven interviews squished in them.

2012 was the year I challenged myself to run 5K to complete my Grade 5 Music theory.

Then there was 2013.

                A year in two halves, the first eight months were saying goodbye, packing up. It was about half way through those eight months I was offered my new job. Subsequently the final four months of 2013 were hellos, fresh starts, and new challenges.

It was the year I left the first place I’d chosen to live. That beautiful little city where I went for university will always have a place in my heart. I loved living there and miss it and it’s people.

2013 I grew up. I bought a house, I got a mortgage, I learnt what a damp proof course, a retainer on a mortgage and all sorts of other jargon was.

2013 has also been a year when I didn’t go to things. I missed Spring Harvest due to it clashing with MWiB weekend – and actually my job interview. I missed Greenbelt because I was bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding. So both good reasons! Then I missed 3Generate – as I’m too old – but I was on local radio that Sunday morning. That weekend was also five year anniversary of me and boyfriend! That is a long time! Much of 2013 was spent as a short distance relationship, which meant dates to the cinema, art gallery and a new found love of Chiquito’s popcorn. (We also went to a very beautiful wedding with lots of driving as I didn’t realise how big Yorkshire is). Boyfriend has now moved far away – sad face. My best friend has also moved far away – in her case to the other side of the world – very sad face. I did get to go to the weekend of Conference in London, and Soul Survivor with my young people – playing the animal game almost constantly, was really lovely when they wanted me to play. The other great moment was when one of my young people mentioned my passion for participation – “you always let us decide together” - win!

One of the most impressive things of the year was the fact I managed to do my journal every day, something my Brother and Boyfriend both thought was way beyond me.

2013 was also a year of travelling. My trip to Italy to help plan the seminar there this June was a great time –well despite having my purse stolen. I got to go to Northern Ireland for the Irish Methodist Conference– something I didn’t blog enough about, but the President’s sermon about Joshua 3 has reoccurred in many of my own sermons. I got to see the theological college which is a beautiful place to study in. The whole Conference was God centred and prayer was a key aspect. I also got to see Irish Helen Kim Memorial Scholar J.

Soon after that I ran 5K in 36 minutes – 6 minutes faster than the year before and much helped by the Youth President’s fitness regime while I was in Ireland.

Then there was Paris. Part of my new job is helping with the Churches’ Scout group and in October half term we got to go to France and meet Minnie Mouse, we did get the ferry in the awful storms. Other parts of my new job include a toddler group, lots of different styles of worship and a very busy advent.

You will now realise that it is February, and we are already 1/12 into 2014. What does it have in store?  So far I’ve been trying to set up my pension, I’ve knit two snoods (one for me and one for Mum) and visited boyfriend in his brand new exciting job – see his blog here for more on that.

2014 will be another year of solitude evasion - finding ways of building community. It will hopefully me the last full year that I’m single, (like I had to put on a form the other day). It’s a year of more new experiences, running an international conference in Rome, and so far a year of three weddings, every year has had a different number recently – very clever of you my friends.

I think I need to pause more, to put on the handbrake, reflect what’s happened. So bring on 2014! Let’s hope it’s not as manic as 2013 but just as fun and action packed. 

Simply Lent

As blogging was part of my aims for 2012 I don’t feel too bad about the fact I’ve not blogged as regularly in 2013. However, I have two other posts that I’m currently working on. They do, I think anyway, both fit into my theme for Lent, which quite rightly needs to be started today.

In the past I’ve given things up for lent; chocolate, buying dvds, Bananas (which totally wasn’t a sacrifice). Anyway this year I wanted to do something a bit different but had no idea what.

About two weeks ago my tv died a death, in the past year of so the colours have occasionally gone, but some pulling on the wires and that soon returns to normal. However the horizontal thingy-me-whatsit has properly gone this time and I feel the Tv is no more. Two days after this happened I moved into friends’ house so it was no longer an issue (And the day inbetween me and boyfriend went to see another pair of friends to watch the rugby so it was all good.)

Monday morning my phone started crashing so I did the first thing you are meant to do when technology breaks, turned it off and on again, however it refused to turn on, and after two trips to the phone shop and hours downloading software to try to update my phone it had to go off to the phone doctors.

My Mum joked I should give up tv for lent, and this along with my phone started me thinking about living simply. So here is my challenge.  I’m not sure what it’s actually going to look like.

Today we had snow, so I went over to my local church to check no one was going to turn up to the Kinda-over 60s club. Part of the car park was untouched so I walked around it making a heart shape with my footprints. I’d have loved to take a photo but I didn’t have my phone, but maybe that's what living simply means – living in the moment. 

I’m not sure where lent is going to take me, and at some point I hope I’ll get a new tv, and in the meantime there is always iplayer and the like.

But this is my challenge, exploring a life of simplicity. Trying to uncomplicate, and not over-luxuarise things (if that’s even a word).

Bring on Lent and let’s see where this journey takes me.

The Plan

Warning – my proof reader has described this blog as messy, I think this is because I’m still working through this – or I’m still shattered from Soul Survivor. I think it helps make the point I’m working towards, even if I don’t totally get to where I think I’m going, this is one of those posts where I’m leaving you to work out the ‘moral of the story.’


God’s plan isn’t always our plan.


If you’d asked me 5 or so years ago, I was going to uni to meet my future husband, get married when I graduated and live happily ever after. I think I even had a life plan, working out when I’d have my 4 children working around the summers that Breakout would happen...

I was partially right, I did meet my boyfriend during the uni years, he just didn’t go to my uni. And actually I’ve had more boyfriends from his uni (two) than my own (none).

You will probably know I recently had seven interviews in eight weeks. I’m now very good at the rejection phone call. It’s been hard but I think I’ve learnt a lot. This came to an end when my Circuit decided they couldn’t continue without me and talked about and finally agreed to keep me on, upgrading my Circuit hours to full time and therefore ending my searching.

This was strange, I was so ready to move on, for a change. But no, I was called to stay. It didn’t make much sense at the time.

However! Or maybe 'But God’...

While I was away at Soul Survivor, Boyfriend was busy going to an interview which would mean he’d get to work, and therefore live, close by. And yes he got it!
So now it all makes sense, I needed interviews to know what I was lacking, I need to stay so boyfriend could get his new job which should be a great stepping stone in his career.

So there you go. It’s always nice when God’s plan becomes obvious.
Though there’s a part of me that’s in shock. Not that I didn’t believe God knew what (s)he was doing, but that this wasn’t part of my plan. I was never expecting to live near (or with – but that’s a totally different blog post) boyfriend, my plan was always going straight from long distance to marriage. I’m not complaining at all, I’m excited about being so close, and now have new things to plan!


PS – something this year that has gone to plan was that I passed my grade 5 theory in music!!!!

6 months on...

Hello loyal blog reader, nice to be back, I’ve been meaning to blog for a while but my life was a bit like going round in circles. But then it wasn’t. Life has a habit of throwing things at you, never more than you can handle, but always something. Or at least that’s how my 2012 has felt. But we are now 6 months in so it’s about time for a recap.

So I’m failing on some things, chocolate is one of those things – but clothes I’m doing well on! Let's check the list!

1, Get fitter and healthier - In a number of ways.
a, Walk / run - aiming to do a 5k run for charity by the end of the year,
b, Do more exercise in general - mainly on the Wii as well as walking.
c, Have a better daily routine - including eating breakfast more often.
2, Blog more - I'm not saying how regularly, but more often!
3, Worry less about the future!!! 2012 is gonna be scary but worrying helps no one!
4, Stop being so obsessed with marriage.
5, Be more fair trade:
a, Only buy clothes that are fair trade or second hand
b, Give up non-fair trade chocolate.(Now that is the really difficult one and I've already failed once as I forgot - will ask Brother for tips!!)
6, Be wiser with money.
a, Reviewing giving - not give less but do more with what I give.
b, Review my spending.
c, Make more sandwiches / packed lunches rather than buying them.
7, Pray More! Lancashire district are having a year of prayer I'm hoping to get involved in a number of ways! First plan is to say grace more often before meals. Maybe find a spiritual director.

So 1a – I did my race for life 5k, in 42 minutes!!! Raised £200 (if you include gift aid) you can still sponsor me at – https://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/rachic11
1c – well I had breakfast this morning!
2- well I’ve blogged more! Just not a lot recently
3 – I’ll come back to this later.
4 – fail!! Which I knew I would so replaced with grade 5 theory! Which I took in one very random weekend – day before the 5k, still waiting to hear how I did...
5 – a pass, b fail!

6 – hmm, well I bought accident insurance today – they obviously rang when I was feeling fragile.
7 – yeah, @yr_of_prayer is really helping 


So the future!

Well I had 7 interviews in 8 weeks and was about to implode, but then I got a call from my circuit boss asking if the circuit meeting agreed would I stay another year! So after my brain exploded and circuit meeting agreed I can now say I’m staying where I am for a further 12 months.

I’ve spent a lot of time recently reflecting on being called to stay! I was expecting to have to move, to be sent, or even to be without a job, but now I’m staying. I thought I was about to start the next race, but actually I’ve just passed another milestone – on the 5k there was a sign very kilometre on the route, it was such a relief to see the 1k earlier than I was expecting. My job will be changing slightly so I’ll have to change my way of working – more local stuff, more children’s work.

There is other stuff going on, but I’m not very good with words, and songs say things better than I can. I’ve been clinging to the words of Faithful One, and remembering I’m part of a bigger community. I love that there are people who are there to hold me when I cry, or let me use their shower – had many boiler issues over the past month. In my car at the moment is an Andy Flanagan cd which includes the song – Fragile, written about the tsunami in 2004 but has been a comfort to me this past week.
Life and death are so hand in hand. On Monday my youth group were having a bbq at a farm, we had a tour and saw a calf that had been born that morning. New life. Death reminds us that this is not forever, that life in the grand scheme of things isn’t very long, but means that we have to live each day, spend it with those we love, doing what we love, being who we are called to be.

So here I am, not moving, called to stay. Trying to be the best me, in the time that I have, working towards the next milestone. Much of the past 12 months have revolved around the word Bambelela which when all is well feels like a carnival word, but maybe it’s more like supercalifraglisticexpealidosiuos – the word to say when there is nothing else. Bambelela, Never give up, Christ is our hope.

All Change

Before we begin, I'm not going to say sorry, but I am going to warn you
a, my proof reader is away
b, this is long and rambley
c, it makes sense to me, and its my blog and I'm in control here, but if it doesn't for you hopefully normality will be returned on the next blog.



Life often seems to go in waves.
Let me give you an example, in the last few years I've known many church people who were turning 40, then this year my friends who are still in their 30s seem to all have been married 10 years - well 3 couples at least.
Or in youth work, you may have a group of 11 year olds join the youth club and you work with them for 5 years and in that time get some kids who are 2 or 3 years younger, but not one year younger.
Live goes in waves.

Last time I remember feeling like everything was changing and I was out of control of it was at the about October 2010 - I know the timing as I remember sitting in a certain bedroom. 2010 I had 5 addresses, at work we were going through the starts of the changes to form the new circuit that now exists. So I was moving house a lot, and changing line manager, and generally feeling a bit out of control of everything.

Now I think for me this is the thing. Change can be exciting, for example I was instrumental in the end of MYE and the formation of the DYEs. That was exciting change, those of you who knew me in 2007/2008 will know the YPS steering group was my main passion. Though I know it also stressed me out a lot. (I apologise for the Methodist jargon and whichever ground rule that was!)

My issue isn't change, it's control. I am a control freak.

I may have said this before but when I'm feeling out of control I like to go for a drive, it calms me down as I know at that time I'm in control of my car, speed, direction etc. and linking back to one of the MWiB blogs I did, getting lost by myself is less stressful than getting lost of the Sat Nav and me disagreed as then I'm not in control.


Anyway back to present day. I'm yet again at a place where everything is changing. There have been a few announcements in the past week about people moving on, and I know that if I find a job I could be the other end of the country or even in Wales.
Just feels like at the moment the wave is all about change.
The CD in my car currently is Andy Flannagan and my fave song on this cd has the line - 'we are changed to be the change you promise'

My aims for 2012 were meant to change me, make me healthier, fairer, and more talented. But again they were changes I wanted to make.

I know sometimes I can't be in control and hopefully God is - depending on the interviewers understanding of God's will.
We don't go through this alone, and we don't go through it without reason. Today I challenged young people to change their communities, their prayers for the world covered most of the map and I am constantly amazed at young people's commitment to prayer and to action.
We watched a clip from Evan Almighty where he is talking to God (Morgan Freeman!!) and God laughs at his plans. Makes me think that as much as I want to be in control, that God needs to be ultimately in charge, maybe that's why everything feels so change-y, cos I need to let go of control. There's kinda a boat at see image in my head and I need to stop trying to steer in a storm and give God control.

I guess what worries me is I feel stressed when I'm not in control and someone else is - maybe that's why I get travel sick (hmm, sorry random tangent will think about that elsewhere). Maybe my prayer needs to be for God's peace to take hold. For God to calm the storm in my worries as well as the storm of change - or at least guide me safely through.

And peace brings me on to Boyfriend...

Boyfriend has had a ... day (I don't know what the word is as I don't think he knows yet really). Its hard to see someone you love, who is so far away, and you can't talk to go through something that looks difficult. But I know its life changing, and he's being changed to be the change God promises. I just prayer that as he sleeps tonight he will be rested for the rest of the week, be refreshed fro the next day and be transformed further so God can use him to be the change in this World

love yourself as your neighbour

I’m very good at looking after other people, I’ve spent a lot of tonight showing people where the toilets are and stopping under 18s leaving without an adult. I’m also very aware of what I think and why I think it. I love the wishbone activity where you work out the core route of an issue. For example, I’m tired, cos I went to bed late, cos a friend was upset about something, so I need to make sure I turn my internet off on my phone in enough time to give me time to chill before bed –something I need to learn due to having a new phone with internet.

I’m a little bit worried I’ve taken on too much at the moment. I’m a bit behind with admin at work, my house is a bit messy, I’m running out of clean clothes – which is saying something! I have many friends going through some stuff – all of which I love, and don’t want to not be there for them – please do not read this as me telling you to go away, this blog is about me! I’m blogging for MWiB every day next week – which I am excited about. I have another friend setting up youthworkhub, which we bought a domain name for today – again exciting stuff but have had to say that I can’t commit to doing much work for it. I used the phrase earlier that I need put life on hold while I catch up with work. I need a routine, which was why as part of my New Year's resolutions I wanted to take up running and eating breakfast. Since getting back from Spring Harvest I’ve had such an irregular diary, especially with MWiB weekend last weekend that it has meant I haven’t managed to get back into routine, and do my music homework and some faith and worship.

I think today I hit the post Spring Harvest lull, not on that spiritual high, all of my prayers of recent days has been for this friend or that opportunity. Let's go back to my friends. I was talking to someone earlier about how couples counterbalance each other, and that led on to love languages. I know I’ve talked about these before but I think it is a brill theory. How do love languages work online? Most of my friends I spend more time with online than I do offline. I’ve said before that touch is my primary language, touch doesn’t work online, as much as a *hug* shows the thought, it's not a hug. Similarly acts of service and gifts aren’t easy via Facebook chat, or MSN. Words are what we do have. Quality time is possible, but then with the way we communicate online is it quality time, or is it the gaps between other things – or turning that on its head is it quality time cos we fit it around our offline activities.

So to stop myself from burning out what do I do? Even tonight at Duggie Dug Dug I took the steward’s role, staffing the door. I hope tomorrow morning I can really engage in the worship, and I’m off to a Taize service in the evening, to give me the space to listen to God. Then Monday I need to start as I mean to go on, eat breakfast, run and get on top of my admin. So wish me luck, please pray for me if you do and if you want check up on me on Monday – though don’t distract me please.

back on track

When I was little - well littler, (in about 1993) I was diagnosed with asthma. My parents don't remember why it happened, but I know I had a big inhaler breathing thingy and I'm allergic to something that treats asthma in a certain form. Not telling you what in case you decide to attack me with it and I'll go all spotty!

But for years its never affected me really.

Then Summer 2010 I started to get a tight chest and went to the doctor, given an inhaler and asked to go back for an asthma test. January 2011 the nurse said I was borderline asthmatic.

Now I've never been sporty, I used to run a very slow 1500m at school cos no one else would and I'd win lots of points for my form and later house in sports day.

But now I'm trying to get fitter and run 5k for cancer research (sponsor page plug) using this scheme.

I've had a few weeks off, but with £50 sponsor money already and my number for the race arriving in the post and the sunshine to make it easier I've been running today. I managed the whole 20 mins of week 1's scheme = 60 secs running and 90 secs walking, I've still got a long way to go, and I'm learning to run with asthma, taking my inhaler first today helped me not get so out of breathe.

Before when I was just lazy I took for granted that I would be able to run if I wanted to. Now its taking work, but then nothing worth doing well is easy.

Please sponsor, support and/or pray for me, as I train and run.

running - together we can beat cancer!

I've been rubbish at running, but now I have 3 months to sort that out!

I've just booked into a race for life 5k for Cancer Research in June!

To sponsor me go to https://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/rachic11

My blog generally has about 50 views per post - if you each gave £4 I would raise £200 and that's just you lot, if all my friends on facebook gave 25p I'd also get there - so really anything helps.

But its not all about money! To support me without paying you can leave a comment on this blog - I need all the motivation I can get.

So bring on the running and together we can beat cancer!

learning to swim

Sometimes I fail at things. Things get bigger than me, and stress me out.

I've not been running in ages, grade 5 theory is really difficult and this Sunday coming my service is the most important to date - or at least it feels like that - assessed all age service at my home church on the transfiguration!!!

I'm trying to be real in this blog, not every thing is easy, but as someone said in an email to me last night - God puts us in situations out of our depth. I don't think He does that to watch us drown, but to teach us to swim.

My mum taught me to swim. Week after week she walked backwards doing widths in our local high school swimming pool, knowing that she was there gave me the confidence to swim without arm bands.

I know when I'm stressed and can't touch the floor that God is there, willing me on and ready to catch me if it all gets to much.

Things I learnt while house sitting.

I've been house sitting this week - the fact that makes my post earlier in the week make sense. So here are 3 things I've learnt / re-learnt / thought about this week.


1 - I need a routine. Every morning this week I managed to get out of bed, let the dogs out, feed them and the fish and have my own breakfast before 8:30. This is quite an achievement for me. It's made me realise that I really need a routine - this morning I got up from my own bed at my house, and was already running late, I was hoping I'd automatically wake up at about 8am again. My life is sometimes complicated in getting up times, but I really could do with starting the day the same every day.

2 - I actually like pets. I've not always been a big fan of pets. There is a photo at Mum and Dad's house of me, my brother and the dog all lying on the floor with our faces together, and they always say its the closest I've ever got to the dog. I think its the walking and clearing up I'm not a big fan of.

3 - Where is home? I use the word home a lot. I've said I'm going home this week and meant where I was house sitting, same as when I'm on holiday. Similarly its taken some time but my parents house is somewhere else I call home. The corny romantic in me would say I'm truly home when I'm back in my boyfriends arms. Then there are other places I've been to and felt at home Yardley for example.


Then today I was doing a session on friends and family. My Sunday morning group is rather awesome, we start in church then make breakfast, then go into our comfy room with sofa's and have a chat while we eat French breakfast items and drink hot chocolate. And then when we are done they do the washing up.

A few weeks ago I asked them to list all the things they wanted to talk about and vote for the most important - Youth Participation :) So this week we got to friends and family. They started by drawing the best ever and worst ever friend and family member. We then compared results to see what the differences between what we expect from family and friends, and talked about how parents treat siblings differently, and the strange phase they go through when their kids are in their teens.

I used the line some of our friends can become like family and a very clever 11 year old boy came back and said that some of our family can be our friends.

We finished the session talking about the 5 love languages that I talk about as often as I can. And because words are the only one that works on the blog...

... I just want to say thank you to my family who are like my friends, and those of you my friends who are like Brothers and Sisters, to the Grandparents that have adopted me, and those of you who let me be like an Aunty to your kids. You all fill my life with happiness and look after me when I'm down - or need coffee. Thank you for those of you who have let me treat your house as my home. And a big hats off to anyone who has actually had to live with me - Well done!

This is the life we've been given...

I'm really disappointed today.

Social media has a lot to answer for.

Don't get me wrong I love Facebook and Twitter, and even wrote a meditweetion for a faith and worship assignment. (In which a person talked to God, and the Bible chirped in useful texts)

Over the last few days however I've been getting more and more concerned with what people do with it.

Twitter seems to be rife with jealousy this morning. I realise in the situation I am thinking of that its because there is a lack of information, but what it boils down to is just people being jealous of others.

It reminds from my retreat we listened to the Take That song - "In the Garden" which has the line "this is the life we've been given" I wasn't sure on that day how to take that - does God cause suffering etc, but we all have our lives I don't think we should be using them wondering what everyone else is up to when our lives and ministries are equally important and at other times will be much more fun.

Then there is a group I belong to on Facebook that I know others have left - and I've just stopped getting notifications on as they don't want what start out as honest questions and turn into rants filling my inbox. It concerns me what Christians do and say in the Churches name.


Yesterday, I was in a school and talking to one trainee teacher who had seen what was going on with the spirituality day - we were talking to year 7 about communion. I found out the reason she didn't go to church was that her local church was too judgemental. She had some questions about how our faith effects our lives, I tried to talk about the difference God makes in everything I do, I try not to be judgmental - though maybe I am being today, how I spend my time, the people I invest in and my money - eg Fairtrade, not illegally downloading films, and why me and Matt aren't living together before we get married. It made me think what would be different, who would I be in God hadn't got me first? I joke I'd have made a great evil genius if my morals didn't get in the way.

So back to Take That...

"This is the life we've been given
So open your heart and start loving
We can make a start if we only learn to listen"

I Thirst

Not quite sure where January has gone, but here we are on the edge of the 2nd month in 2012. I want to take a moment to reflect. At house group tonight we were talking about Water. It was started with 6 glasses on the table. I've found that since being involved with MWiB that I've noticed worship areas more and more, and this was simple, just one glass for each of us.

I didn't realise I was thirsty till I was given a glass. However, as soon as I was holding it I wanted to drink.

Similarly when I got back home I could see a whole sky full of stars, Orion's belt, a saucepan and the fast moving planet known as Boeing. But when I'm indoors I don't think about what I'm missing because of my roof.

Again its the same with friends, there are some people I talk to most days, and if I don't chat with them for a few days I look forward to Tuesday mornings when I know one of them will be back at work. Or there is the family who have taken me in, and my extra grandparents who I miss if I don't see each week really. There are other people I talk to less frequently and I don't miss them so much as I don't see them to miss them - if that makes sense.

One question tonight was about how the Holy Spirit can quench our thirst for Living Water but for me I think its more that I need it to make me realise I am thirsty, that I need the living water, to remind me to pray, to spend time in God's presence.
My aims for 2012 are about me spending more time for the people around me, for the world and for God. I'm not doing great on running, but I blog when I feel I have something to say, I've taken up music theory (and enjoying it mainly) as I'm failing at not being Marriage obsessed. Twitter is helping me to pray - with the @yr_of_prayer prayers every morning. And so far so good on Fairtrade stuff - well most of the time.

So there you are, there was my January. Bring on February, with more of the same, but I hope I will realise what I am thirsty for.

No.

I mentioned a while ago I was going to a retreat where I would have to split my life into 10 chapters. And last Saturday I went on aforementioned retreat, was a great day and I loved having the time to reflect on my life. I may come back to the 10 chapter titles but right now I'm going to focus on the one I labelled 'No.'

'No' was the from MYC 2008 to the start of Feb in 2009. It was the time that I stopped doing a lot things and actually learnt to say no. I stepped off of the YPS reference group, and exec finished, I didn't become a DYE. I was offered a position at a group at uni and decided that it wasn't right for a number of reasons so said no to that too. This time ended with me agreeing to take the job I have now. But those 3 months where I said no prepared me to start saying yes ago. I would like to point out I had just started a relationship at this time - saying yes then was good! :D Also during this time I watched the Nooma Shells which I thought sums it up well.

My aims for 2012 have a mixture of Yes's and No's in them. Saying no to non-fair trade chocolate isn't always easy, but I am really trying!!

I've nearly been here 3 years and with the change over of staff I've spent more time reflecting over my time here to enable the new staff to understand my role. Quite a lot of these conversations include me saying, well there was work there but I stopped it, or it ended. Maybe that is my place, to stop things, give it some time and enable work to restart refreshed in the future. One example of this is I let one of my volunteers sit down, I had a meeting cancelled one evening in January 2010 and went round to see this volunteer, we chatted and she talked about how she wanted to step down and was actually planning to move out of the village - and country! That evening when I could have easily been at home or elsewhere meant that she could step down from a role she had had for many years. And yes we coped without her, it has enabled others to take a lead so it all worked out well.

In the same way my new youth club has just started up and has 10 on the books in 2 weeks!

Things must end, there must be a time to rest and then new good things can grow in the place.

I've found saying no generally does more good than harm, as long as it gives you the chance to say yes to the right things.

update on jogging and music.

So I took a few days off jogging due to lack of motivation, but did learn some new Zumba steps on my wii. Then yesterday went for a jog/walk to the shop, doing about half the distance I'm meant to - and still on week 1 of the couch to 5k plan. then walked the mile ish back - with pizza for tea!

After that I had my first music theory lesson. The teacher was lovely though does want to hear me play at some point (what is it with music-types and wanting to hear me ruin songs. It looks like I will be taking the exam in June. We did basic things like key signatures and clefs. Think its going to take me a few weeks to get back into it, but its all good fun.

I'm doing the theory as its something I wished I had done years ago when I had the opportunity but didn't due to holiday clubs. I'm also taking this on as I'm already failing one point on the aims for 2012, so am compensating for that.

fitness

Hello!

I'm really suprised at the amount of you reading this - or the last few posts anyway, I've had so many comments about this blog and for them I am really grateful that you are interested in reading what I'm saying!

So here goes.

As part of my aims of 2012 I'm hoping to get healthier. So far I've not managed breakfast every day - which has been hampered further recently by finding someone who will deliver take away - don't think cold pizza really counts! This is a major thing to me, I'm learning how to live in a rural community, and part of that is for the past 12 months I've not been able to order take away. I'm still rural - though that was a major part in my definition. I can walk to 2 cafes (one with crazy golf) 2 churches, and a post office within 10 minutes. There is then a shop, another cafe and my adoptive grandparents who are all 20 mins or so walk away, and that's about it! I love rural living and that's part of the reason I am taking up jogging as part of my fitness plan, as its something I can do from home.

Saturday I decided to walk to aforementioned adoptive grandparents - a lovely couple who have taken me in. It was a nice sunny but cold day so decided to walk and then jog back. On the walk there I was feeling impressed with myself. Earlier that week I'd been at a Bible study I wasn't expecting to be at - mainly cos my lovely car decided it didn't want to start. I missed the start so don't actually remember the starting point but the group got to discussing self confidence. Now I'm a confident person most of the time - or at least I portray that, my mum's saying of 'you are an alright person and all things pass' works well for me. I worry and I get nervous about new things. If you knew me 6 years ago you will be see the difference - I used to get so homesick for even the shortest stay away. This Bible study group seemed to say self-confidence is a bad thing. I understand if its self-confidence in a bigging up myself way that it can put other people down, but we all need a certain amount of confidence to enable us to feel ok in our skin and get on with what we are asked. At a recent interview I tried to explain I'm not a mouthy up front person really, but that's who you have to be at an interview. The Bible study group was more about having God confidence. And to be fair a lot of my confidence comes from knowing I am loved, by my parents and family, by my boyfriend, by my friends, and by God.

So this takes me back to my walk, and rural living. I live close to the railway line, and I love hearing the trains speed past, reminds me I'm connected to the bigger world, as well as the baaing of sheep and the tweeting of birds. I get to see God in creation. As part of my district's year of prayer there is a journal and week one's task is see where you find God in everyday things. For a look at the journal check out this link. http://www.lancashiremethodist.org.uk/prayer.html

And the jog back was ok, not as far as day 2, just need to keep going, and I really should be honest with you I've not been out since Saturday - its now Wednesday, but I have done Zumba on my wii.

running day 2

I'm following a plan that suggests I run 3 times a week, which means after a Tuesday off, I was back on the road today.

Was much happier with my performance, though still needed my inhaler afterwards - wonder if its worth taking it first!

Including the 5 minute brisk walk to warm up I traveled a total of 1.5 miles :) 0.3 of a mile more than Monday, and managed to do the 60 seconds jog, 90 seconds walk for all the way there and back (1.2 miles) compared to 0.4 of a mile Monday as I walked back then! and there being further away this time!

Also decided with a friend we shall do race for life together! :)

day one running

Quick update on running!

I decided as part of my 7 aims (or 12 point plan) for 2012 I am going to run a 5k! Which means I have to get fit! I've given myself a week to get settled into 2012 so today was the day!!!

Important fact you need to know: I am very unfit!

Today I tried to start, with a 5 minute brisk walk, some quick stretches, then 60 seconds jogging, followed by 90 seconds walking (which is meant to be up to 20 mins)
7 mins into the jogging walking thing I decided I'd had enough - but still had to walk most of the way back. Its harder than it looks. and its difficult to count to 30!

Now sitting at home after taking inhaler, had some bread and butter and now a cup of coffee.

Though just checked the route on google maps and I went 1.2 miles and was out the house for about 20 mins, so all things considered I don't think that was too bad. Will have to try again on Wednesday... though need to find my mp3 player.

Aims for 2012

Its New Year resolution time and here are my plans.

1, Get fitter and healthier - In a number of ways.
a, Walk / run - aiming to do a 5k run for charity by the end of the year,
b, Do more exercise in general - mainly on the wii as well as walking.
c, Have a better daily routine - including eating breakfast more often.
2, Blog more - I'm not saying how regularly, but more often!
3, Worry less about the future!!! 2012 is gonna be scary but worrying helps no one!
4, Stop being so obsessed with marriage.
5, Be more fair trade:
a, Only buy clothes that are fair trade or second hand
b, Give up non-fair trade chocolate.(Now that is the really difficult one and I've already failed once as I forgot - will ask Brother for tips!!)
6, Be wiser with money.
a, Reviewing giving - not give less but do more with what I give.
b, Review my spending.
c, Make more sandwiches / packed lunches rather than buying them.
7, Pray More! Lancashire district are having a year of prayer I'm hoping to get involved in a number of ways! First plan is to say grace more often before meals. Maybe find a spiritual director.


So here goes!