Firstly and most importantly I am fine.
Here are just some of my thoughts – possibly three blogs worth but I’ll see where I get to – from being in a car accident.
I’ve had a phone call today saying that my car is being stripped down to check for internal damage, and if its bad they could be writing my car off – so maybe bump was an understatement.
I’ve spent much of the past few days telling people I’m not injured, companies ringing me up asking me about my claim. If I’ve told them once I’ve told them at least seven times now. I’ve been taught not to lie. We live in a culture that is all about blame. I’ve been told many times that the other driver has taken the blame – which as I was stationary and he went into the back of me isn’t really disputable, and that it is good he is to blame. Funny you can find good things about the guy who drove into me. Though, to be honest he was a lovely guy and was very nice, though think my shaking scared him a little bit.
After the bump, I found a road around the corner and waiting there for my parents to arrive, while I rang the insurers and started the process. Then we drove, with Brother now in my car with me back to theirs. Most of the journey Mum and Dad followed me in their car, just to check the back wasn’t about to fall off my car, or something like that! When they weren’t and as I drove to the garage the next day I was very aware of what others might think of my car, and therefore of me – will they think I’m a bad driver. I’ve been thinking about make up recently (don’t worry there is a link). Make up is something generally girl wear, and it’s not really about how they see themselves, as they can’t see it, its similar with hair styles, though of course with longer hair it is easier to see – and I know I like it when I can see the blue in my hair as my hair is a decent length. So its not about how we look, but how we are seen and therefore perceived. We use words in a similar way, I talk about Boyfriend ‘moving into my spare room,’ rather than saying we are going to be ‘living together.’ If you followed me some weeks you’d think all I did was have coffee with different men – but that’s just working for the church for you.
My 3rd main thought about the bump is about control. I know I’ve said before I’m a bit of a control freak. My first thought as the van went into my car was, oh the car is moving, I need to stop that. When Boyfriend and I got train to London on Thursday morning we were sat in the ‘entertainment carriage’ which means you get a tv screen on the back of the seat infront of you – like on a plane and so I spent much of the journey watching were we are on the map, this was something that I loved on the plane to and from South Africa, especially the moment middle of the night when we were over the Sahara Desert. Spending time in London my parents seem to prefer the bus to the tube – and walking along the Thames most of all! I prefer the tube, you can follow where you are on the map, I know how it works. Buses are a bit more unpredictable. Boyfriend and I were talking to someone over the past few days about living in London. Boyfriend would love to, though I think he is also looking forward to being able to walk in the beautiful countryside around me, whereas I’m more of a ‘towny’ who is coping with rural life.
The bump shock me cos I was out of control in the one place I feel most in control. Similarly on Wednesday when I picked up my shiny hire car I felt slightly out of control, the corsa being that bit different to my Getz. And now waiting to hear how my little car is, I'm out of control.
So I’m vainer that I think. As always I’m a control freak, but I’m no liar. Let’s just see what the next step is and pray they don’t write my car off.
Added - 14:27 on 3.9.12 - just had a phone call, car is fixable. Prayer works!
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