Saturday 12 July 2014

Tradition vs feminism

So I've been engaged a whole week, and I don't think I've ever made so many decisions in such a short amount of time. Nor spent so much time either on the phone or with my parents since I lived with them. Even Fiancé has called his Mum about three times this week.

We've also had different reactions from people. Fiancé has had more friends arrange to go out and celebrate with him, whereas I've had more cards - addressed to us both but sent to me. But he's had money in cards, whereas I haven't. 

I've pondered a bit over gender differences this week. 

So here's the thing. I'm a bit of a feminist.
I told someone I was a feminist a few months ago, her response was to check I was still with my boyfriend.  I replied yes, and so she said I wasn't much of one then.
Obviously thinking all feminists are lesbians!
I'm not going into to my equality rant right now, about why I'm a feminist, you just need to know I am.

I'm also quite traditional.
It was me who told Fiancé I expected him to ask my Dad's permission. 
I expect Dad to walk me down the aisle and present me.
I'm a little sad my Mum's name and occupation won't be on my wedding certificate.

This has been the balance in my head all week.
There has been a couple of moments when I've thought and possibly even said,  I want ... and I'm the bride.
The whole debate about which church we get married in, came down to this as well, really. Though practicalities won in the end.

Maybe I want an equal marriage and a traditional wedding. Is that me wanting it all. Having my cake and eating it? What a funny phrase that is. Of course you eat the cake you have, otherwise what is the point of having cake.

I don't have answers, just yet, and I think its something I'll reflect on over and over during the next 8 months of planning - oh yeah, we have a date!

Any thoughts, comments, ideas, ponderings and support gratefully received.

Sunday 6 July 2014

This is it

When I was about 6 or 7 I went to a ballet class, and we did a show that was called "this is it" with a title song to match. We have it on video somewhere. 

This blog is it. The blog I've wanted to write for many years. The one people have been expecting when I've given other news.

It is the same with phone calls. When I was given my note to preach in feb 2010 I rang my family excited about starting the Local Preacher journey.  They were surprised I wasn't ringing to announce my engagement!

But now I am. Our families have been rung / emailed, we are facebook official and this is it, the blog of how he finally did it.

My Fiancé and I have been together for just over 5 and a half years. Meeting at a train station for MYC back in 2007 and getting together a year and a day later (via Msn) in 2008.

Years have passed and life has moved us around a bit,  but we are now at a point where we can actually see us building a life together.

Friday 4th July dawned a grey morning, after originally making plans to walk up a hill and have a picnic we decided to scrap the picnic and just take some cake with us.

As with every other time we go anywhere I'd asked Boyfriend if he was going to propose,  and if he had a ring. Replying no to both, we went off for this 2 mile walk to a little towery thing near where I live.

I made some comment about halfway up the hill if he was going to keep suggesting walks knowing I'd say yes if I thought he might propose on them. He likes walking more than I do.

We got to the top and looked at the old, now covered well, and the tower and worked out which towns and cities we could see before sitting on the bench to eat cake and take photos to prove I walked somewhere. 

Unbeknown to me, when Boyfriend got the phone out of the bag to take said pictures he also moved the ring into his hoody pocket.

Sitting back next to me on the bench he said some beautiful things, something along the lines of, you are beautiful, and amazing, and will make a wonderful wife and I love you. 
To which I replied "that would make a good proposal speech"
Next thing I know he's down on one knee with the ring out.

For someone who has wanted this very moment for years, and even thought about how to respond,  I was speechless,  shocked and said oh.
I took the ring out of the box and asked him to put it on my finger.
We kissed. And it was only a minute or so later that I realised I hadn't said yes yet. I checked with Fiancé this was the case, which it was and gave my affirmative answer.
This was when the shock of it actually happening hit me and we sat down, and took the photo of the ring before the walk home, and the visit to my mum.

So this is it.
I'm engaged!

Just watch out as this is when I become a wedding bore or worse a bridezilla.

Thanks for journeying with me so far.

Your newly fiancéed friend.