I’ve always loved tests – by that before you label me as a
geek I mean personality tests: Myers-Briggs, IQ tests, those sorts of things. I’m also a bit of a
self-reflector – probably why I like blogging. Myers-Briggs usually puts me as
an extrovert; it’s close, but certainly more extroverted than introverted. I do
enjoy my alone time. Tonight I was walking home from work across Lancaster,
trying to remember where I’d left my car, thinking about this blog. Similarly I
love thinking when I’m driving, so much so that an old housemate (not old, well
older than me, but a previous housemate) got me a notebook for my Birthday/Christmas and in it wrote “I thought you could keep [this notebook] in
your glove box to record all the great ideas that come to you when you are
driving (when it’s safe and legal to do so!)”
However it’s a bit strange at the moment to be on my own.
I’ve spent about 40 hours this week at my parents house – the place people keep
asking me when I’m going home for Christmas to, ignoring the fact I’ve never
really lived there as they moved in ‘the year of all the house moves’ aka 2010.
My parents are both ill, though Mum has managed to do a funeral today, so
Tuesday evening I drove over there, after a wonderful 8 year old gave me some
sweets to give to my poorly parents as I couldn’t go to his Christingle Service
as I had to go home. This meant I was there ready to take parents to doctors
Wednesday morning – the main reason for me going really, as Brother isn’t
insured to drive them. Brother and I then got writing the Christmas cards –
well he wrote (as he’s got mum’s neat handwriting) and I found all the names
and stuck the addresses on the envelopes. We played many card games, I typed up
the funeral talk and found out we couldn’t do a Tesco order, so this morning Brother
and I went to Sainsburys, where he got double nectar points on the mammoth
Christmas shop! What I’ve realised is that I would have had a very different
childhood had I been a young carer, and Brother is better at it than me: he
walked the dog, did some washing up and made me coffee.
It’s funny really. When Mum was the age I was now she had me.
I would have been about 16 months at this point; I feel a bit young to be the
caregiver of a child. Babysitting is ok, cuddling little ones at work is fine -
I get to give them back. I also thought I would have a few more years before I
had to look after my parents and to be fair to them, they are hardly ever ill,
and should be well soon so life will be back to normal.
I’ve quite enjoyed buying Christmas presents. In my opinion there’s
no point in earning money if I don’t get to share it with others I love. My
kinda adoptive family have fed me most weeks of the year and one way of saying
thanks and “I love you guys” is by buying them all gifts.
What I’m trying to say is that friendship is really
important. I love my time alone, but I thrive best with other people, whether
that be looking after my parents, playing card games with Brother or other
friends, getting cuddles while reading the same book over and over again with a
2 year old and just the quality time spent with friends. We all need a bit of
help sometimes - recently Boyfriend spent his day off helping me get on top of
the washing up – cos he’s fab like that.
So this Christmas, if you manage to forget, it’s actually
about Jesus being born. Remember it’s about love, friendship, being generous
and hugs.
And if I don’t blog again before next Tuesday – Merry
Christmas.
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