Saturday, 12 July 2014

Tradition vs feminism

So I've been engaged a whole week, and I don't think I've ever made so many decisions in such a short amount of time. Nor spent so much time either on the phone or with my parents since I lived with them. Even Fiancé has called his Mum about three times this week.

We've also had different reactions from people. Fiancé has had more friends arrange to go out and celebrate with him, whereas I've had more cards - addressed to us both but sent to me. But he's had money in cards, whereas I haven't. 

I've pondered a bit over gender differences this week. 

So here's the thing. I'm a bit of a feminist.
I told someone I was a feminist a few months ago, her response was to check I was still with my boyfriend.  I replied yes, and so she said I wasn't much of one then.
Obviously thinking all feminists are lesbians!
I'm not going into to my equality rant right now, about why I'm a feminist, you just need to know I am.

I'm also quite traditional.
It was me who told Fiancé I expected him to ask my Dad's permission. 
I expect Dad to walk me down the aisle and present me.
I'm a little sad my Mum's name and occupation won't be on my wedding certificate.

This has been the balance in my head all week.
There has been a couple of moments when I've thought and possibly even said,  I want ... and I'm the bride.
The whole debate about which church we get married in, came down to this as well, really. Though practicalities won in the end.

Maybe I want an equal marriage and a traditional wedding. Is that me wanting it all. Having my cake and eating it? What a funny phrase that is. Of course you eat the cake you have, otherwise what is the point of having cake.

I don't have answers, just yet, and I think its something I'll reflect on over and over during the next 8 months of planning - oh yeah, we have a date!

Any thoughts, comments, ideas, ponderings and support gratefully received.

1 comment:

  1. moves are afoot to ensure mother's occupation can go onto marriage certs - don't know if this will be in time for you? Was ace to see you yesterday :D