Just a warning before you spend a couple of minutes of your life reading this - I'm not sure this blog has a point! Really all
I'm doing is keeping track of some of the changes that have happened
since getting married.
But first I need to
start where I last stopped – with my lent blogs that I didn't get
round to writing...
My theme for lent –
which I very obviously didn't manage to blog about – was
companionship. I spent time with colleagues and friends at our
conference, I moved in with a family for a few nights – re-earning
my name “night time Rachel.” Someone joined my knitta natta
group, making a spectacular two regular members, went to MWiB forum
and the last ever World Mission Forum and finally I got married!
So now I'm learning
to be married. A friend of mine, just before he was about to
celebrate his first wedding anniversary told me that the wedding
plans is good preparation for marriage – learning to combine the
two families and work together as a team. He was right.
Firstly, as the
answer to the question I've been asked the most (“How's married
life?”) Married life is so far so good!
There are many
things I'm learning and that are changing. We are much more different
than I ever knew. There's a whole blog in introversion / extroversion
if/when I get round to writing it.
One of the things
I've noticed is that we ball socks differently!
I didn't even
realise there was more than one way to ball socks!
I ball socks
completely, whereas Husband just balls them slightly and leaves a
tail.
Matching up odd
socks is my job – along with the sorting, washing and putting away
of clothes. I now ball socks in both methods, mine my way and his his
way.
Part of it is for
practical reasons – my socks are colourful and are easier to tell
apart from the ball, Husband's are mainly black with coloured heels
and his method means you can see which pair of socks they are still.
So I've changed the way I ball socks – but only his. It's also
about ensuring I'm not taking over, even if just a small way.
Has marriage changed
me? Yes.
There are other
things that have changed. My name is the most obvious thing. Though
just to confuse most people I decided to be a Ms rather than a Mrs.
It hasn't worked on somethings, for example I went to the Doctors to
change my name, they photocopied my marriage certificate and never
asked me about my title or actually my surname.
When talking to
people about this I've had some very interesting responses.
One person did link
feminists to terrorists... as they both push their views on other
people, I'm not sure they really meant to compare me to a terrorist,
but that is what happened!
“I'm a Miss and
proud!” Good for you!
“Isn't that just
for divorced people” No – and I'm glad I can help educate you in
this.
“Oh why are you
doing that?”
Well it's about a
choice. In the same way I chose to have the same surname as my
husband and that that was to be the one he was born with. I've also
chosen that my marital status shouldn't be important when all you
know about me is my name. It's not that I am not proud to be married.
Part of it is being inspired by my A level Psychology teacher, who
was the first Ms I met.
Also – while I'm
on names what's with everyone saying “Hello Mrs New-Surname” It
means I have to remember their surnames to reply “Hello Mr/Mrs/Rev
...” and makes conversations much more formal.
I like being
married, I like being Ms New-Surname and most of all I love not being
in a long distance relationship anymore.
Things have changed,
and I've changed, and most of all I now ball socks differently!
PS – I've also
started offering to go on walks, even when there isn't ice cream –
it's strange this marriage-lark.
