The Child(less) of Christmas

Christmas is all about children.
Or so it seems as a childless adult.

Both in church, where it’s nativity season telling the story of the holy baby, and even in my sign choir where during “silent night” again and again I’ve signed holding the holy child, representing that special mother.
And in the rest of the world, adverts, facebook, the latest exploits of that naughty elf on the shelf that my many parent friends are sharing.

The season is all about children.

Also many of my closest friends have given birth this year, including to my beautiful God Daughter, so this Christmas more than ever before I seem to be surrounded by babies.

Now I’m childless for a myriad of reasons, most of which are completely out of my control, and I’m not going to go into right now, it's not the why that is important but just that I am childless not by choice, you need for the context. I also have a number of close friends facing fertility issues this year, and I’m sure I have in previous years but maybe without knowing it.

The thing that struck me most was deciding which Christmas card to send to which of our friends. “unto us a child is born” feels like a mockery to those not holding a child this Christmas, so if you got one of those you have probably had a baby recently, and we do hope for you that this is a very special first family Christmas with your own special baby to celebrate.

I’m preaching tomorrow on the other baby of Christmas, the one born to an old barren mother, the one who’s father was so shocked his wife could get pregnant he was totally speechless. The Bible is full of miracle babies, but then it wouldn’t tell the story of baby-less women as there was no child to grow into someone remarkable.

Maybe it’s because I just turned 30, maybe it’s everything 2018 has held (ups and downs, lots of change, death and parties) and maybe every Christmas has always had a baby to its centre. But this year, like when I was aged 7 and upset I didn’t get to be Mary in the nativity, this year I’m very aware there is no child in my Christmas.

I don't want this to turn into a, "it will all be ok cos Jesus" blog. Because right now I'm sad and jealous, and my Christmas feels a bit empty.

However, there is of course a baby in my Christmas, Jesus, and tomorrow I will preach about joy in all things. The deep seated God given happiness, looking on the bright side of life's journey, and I do truly believe that, as I hold on to that baby, that most important baby of Christmas that all will be well. That doesn't mean life will be easy, that tomorrow I will wake up and all my dreams will come true, and that joy is not coloured by the sadness, anger, fear and disgust that life also carries. (Can you tell I found the Inside Out film very helpful in understanding emotions?)

So this Christmas I seek joy through sadness, in the children and adults I get to journey through life with and in the Saviour I seek to serve who came to earth and dealt with being a human with all our complex emotions.