simple quality time

So, just a short blog tonight to update on my lent.

• Wednesday morning I had a lie in, before going to play in the snow!
• Thursday I spent the day focusing on tomorrow's messy church before shopping, not getting stressed by long queues at the supermarket. After this I picked Boyfriend up from work, and we decided to get take away rather than me cooking the food I'd just bought. This meant more time together, and watching Torchwood. 
• Friday started with quality time with Boyfriend, coffee morning and chats then going to lunch club - which is always great fun and this week focusing on prayer. A great supervision with Student, fab to have time with her to talk, as well as laugh. Then finally many hours, mugs of coffee and even bacon (with curly fries and an egg) for tea with my wonderful adoptive grandparents.

I say all of this as this week's living simply has been about quality time. Quality time is one of Chapman's love languages.
I'm not really making focuses for the time of lent, but seeing what happens. But so far simple living is all about love, and that sounds great to me.

Simply Lent

As blogging was part of my aims for 2012 I don’t feel too bad about the fact I’ve not blogged as regularly in 2013. However, I have two other posts that I’m currently working on. They do, I think anyway, both fit into my theme for Lent, which quite rightly needs to be started today.

In the past I’ve given things up for lent; chocolate, buying dvds, Bananas (which totally wasn’t a sacrifice). Anyway this year I wanted to do something a bit different but had no idea what.

About two weeks ago my tv died a death, in the past year of so the colours have occasionally gone, but some pulling on the wires and that soon returns to normal. However the horizontal thingy-me-whatsit has properly gone this time and I feel the Tv is no more. Two days after this happened I moved into friends’ house so it was no longer an issue (And the day inbetween me and boyfriend went to see another pair of friends to watch the rugby so it was all good.)

Monday morning my phone started crashing so I did the first thing you are meant to do when technology breaks, turned it off and on again, however it refused to turn on, and after two trips to the phone shop and hours downloading software to try to update my phone it had to go off to the phone doctors.

My Mum joked I should give up tv for lent, and this along with my phone started me thinking about living simply. So here is my challenge.  I’m not sure what it’s actually going to look like.

Today we had snow, so I went over to my local church to check no one was going to turn up to the Kinda-over 60s club. Part of the car park was untouched so I walked around it making a heart shape with my footprints. I’d have loved to take a photo but I didn’t have my phone, but maybe that's what living simply means – living in the moment. 

I’m not sure where lent is going to take me, and at some point I hope I’ll get a new tv, and in the meantime there is always iplayer and the like.

But this is my challenge, exploring a life of simplicity. Trying to uncomplicate, and not over-luxuarise things (if that’s even a word).

Bring on Lent and let’s see where this journey takes me.

sound and silence

I’ve been to the panto this evening. A friend, well the Dad in the family that has kinda adopted me was Will Scarlet and his eldest son had a fab little role too. I haven’t been to the panto in a few years, me and Boyfriend went to see John Barrowman in the one in Cardiff one New Years Eve –probably 2009/2010. For our 50 month anniversary we decided on date afternoon to go see Les Mis at the cinema (well on our actual anniversary being Methodist Geeks we went to see the President of Conference then had burgers at Spoons). Anyway I bring up Les Mis as like the panto people sing rather than talk and tonight’s blog topic is music.

On a slight tangent if I was ever on Room 101 I would put songs with siren noises hidden in. These are the ones on the radio that you have to turn off when driving just to check it’s the music not a fire engine, ambulance or police car.

I think I listen to music a lot less than some people. Maybe that’s not right, what I mean is that I don’t intentionally listen to music as much as some people do. (Not that I compare myself to others often).

I don’t own an iPod, my mp3 player is rather old, and to be honest I don’t really like head phones. During the day when I’m driving I have Radio 1 on (so that's music!), and in the evening (after 7) I choose between Radio 2’s music (must be getting old) and Radio 4’s chats (turning in to my mother), or sometimes I have a specific cd in my car; the Disney blog came out of that time of driving and cd listening. When I’m at home I sometimes put the music on my laptop, but often I just sit in silence or relative silence anyway.

Something that music does is help us recall certain memories, I’m reminded of a fellow steward whenever I hear the Yfriday version of Strength will rise, I can no longer sing And Can it Be without thinking of Boyfriend or One more step without getting the giggles from old Exec days. For everyone Born will always be a MWiB / South Africa song. Some songs have negative memories though. The other day I was on a train that was packed between Huddersfield and Manchester and at Hudds two lads, one very drunk and one not quite so drunk got on and sat one next to and the other opposite me in a four seated bit – like the table seats but without a table. They were boasting the fact they had been kicked out of 4 out of 5 clubs in Huddersfield, still wearing yesterday’s clothes and were on their way to Liverpool, or maybe Manchester. After the first stop many in our carriage got off and I had the opportunity to move seats, but believing it would cause more agro stopped where I was and had an interesting 30-40 minutes being asked if I thought they were attractive, if I could tell they were wearing yesterdays clothes and the more drunk one singing over and over again “I want to scream and shout and let it all out” This song is now in my bad books for two reasons as when it came onto the radio the other day it took me back to that train ride, but it also has siren like noises in the background.

There is one type of music I seem to listen to a lot, and obviously this goes in peaks and troughs, is on hold music. It reminds me of my grandparents and Radio 3, it reminds me of placement in 1^st year when I spent ages calling a bowling alley and each 20 seconds of song were disrupted by an advert. I don’t know what the answer is to decent on hold music, but I’ve not heard it yet.

Yesterday’s issue with music was that of a facebook game. This particular one where you have to fry or grill different types of chicken had a rather annoying sound track background, however if you turned it off you also lost the sound effects, the bell as a customer came through the door, the click of the frying pan saying it was done and the ring of the phone for take away orders. So the choice was include the annoying music or lose the detail that made the game easier.

Now I’m not about to burst into song when mid speech but I do talk a lot, so it may come as a surprise to you that I’ve booked a mostly silent retreat. The idea is at meal times I can chat with the Nuns and others who are staying at the Monastery but the rest of the time is for me, my thoughts, my questions, some books and God. I’ll probably take paper to write on, pencils to sketch with, my camera (rather than my phone) all to help me find God

Like I’ve said I don’t intentionally seek out music often, right now all I can hear is the ticking clock and the sound of the keys on my keyboard as I type. But silence, that’s something else altogether. 

Money Money Money

Before I start I should say that I blog about things I think about. This one might not say much, but blogging is the best way I know to get my thoughts to make sense. So this is a selfish blog for that reason. But if you are nosey and want to know what I’ve been thinking about money then please read on.

I went to see Mamma Mia in London, and the programme confused us as the songs were written in alphabetical order rather than order of performance in the musical, and I remember being very confused during the interval as I’d heard Money Money Money but not Gimme Gimme Gimme (a man after midnight).

Anyway, silly story aside, I’ve been thinking about money a lot recently. My Church is having a month on finance, and I’ve been having some money issues of my own. Now I must state before I start that I’ve never been without money, I just happen to have most of my savings hidden in an ISA and am loathed to have to remove them. As you may know I had a couple of car accidents last year which has meant paying out excesses, though the first one I’ve had back and the second is currently waiting on next month’s credit card bill. I’m also loathed to use said credit card but at the moment it seems to be a necessary evil, and as long as my expenses come back from work – which I banked today, I can get it paid off straight away. The fact I’m owed an increment in my pay is another story all together and that’s all down to HQ far away so that adds to the fun.

What I have currently is a cash flow problem, its stopping me from doing some of the things that I usually take for granted – trips to the chippy for example. I’m not poor, but my savings are there so I can hopefully and eventually buy a house.

Yesterday at my youth group we were talking about tithing, the act of giving 10% of income away, whether that be charity or the church. I’ve recently stopped giving to some of the charities I support, though know I need to increase my giving to my church – I go to circuit meeting, I understand the budget, and I know how much my expenses are.

I

’ve always been someone who prefers an extra jumper to a heater, but I think at the moment – and since Dad set me up a spreadsheet so that I can forecast months into the future I’m a bit more wary of how I spend my money. I’m nowhere near poor, this is totally a 1^st world problem, but these are big decisions to make. One activity the Minister is doing as he goes round the House groups (spoiler alert) and the Youth Fellowship was if you were leaving your house for good in an emergence / disaster what 10 items would you put in a carrier bag. Some of them would be practical, torch, radio, others are sentimental – teddy, poems, and a further third category for me were about keeping control, every plan may have changed in my diary but I’d still like to know what day it was and also to mark off key events in my journal.

When Boyfriend and I started dating I paid for a lot of the stuff, I was working and he wasn’t. Sometimes I’d hand him the money and he’d pay, other times we would split the bill. It never bothered me paying more than him. Now it’s strange, with both of us working full time sometimes he treats me, especially when it’s something that needs small change – those tips really help when you need money for parking.  I’m getting used to being the one not paying all the time. Though I earn more my house is more expensive, my bills are on top and his are included. Though one day we’ll have a joint bank account and only 1 set of bills, but that’s a different issue altogether.

I don’t have answers, just thoughts. I want to use my money wisely, I don’t want to save it for the sake of saving. Big questions.


PS - this week did a couple of guest blogs at www.mwib.org.uk 

5 years of inspiration

My little Methodist sister gave me a really fab birthday present last year –a five year journal. It has in it 366 questions and 5 gaps to answer each one. Brother and Boyfriend were discussing how long I’d last, and Brother was wrong – I got past Wednesday night. I’ve got into a routine of filling in the question when I get in to bed, before ringing Boyfriend for our nightly chat. I also read the next day’s question, in case there is something I need to look out for the next day.

Yesterday’s question is "what inspired you today?" So I tried to keep a look out for inspiration. I picked up on people’s courage, the kindness of companies and helpfulness of friends.

If only it had been today!

Today I’ve realised that I’m not grateful enough for what I have. Yes I’ve had a few interesting days with swapping hire cars – long story, tell you another day! But tonight I’ve had a very exciting email asking me to go to Europe for a planning meeting!

Life is good! Sometimes it's not, but let's remember when it is that we need to realise how special and exciting it can be.

Also, this week I’ve made a cake by myself – I kinda burnt the topping but managed to just cover it in buttons – see the photo! I also made chilli – not that that is a new thing. Tomorrow I’m planning on learning how to make soup! Wish me luck.

Hope 2013 is going well for you.

Just 31,622,400 ticks

 So here we are, lovely blog readers – we’ve made through 2012. It’s been an interesting year and I’ve come through with some knocks and scraps, and currently have a cough, but I think I’m a stronger, better person.

So let’s recap the year.  

I’m not going to go through month by month –because, to be honest, its mainly on here anyway. But here are some of my favourite memories and your favourite blogs – Spring Harvest, MYA, Greenbelt, London Baby, Worship maybe I haven't put your fave, sorry! 

But as one of the best read blogs of the year was my 6 monthreview I feel (see reflective practitioner really) you may want to know how my goals of 2012 worked out.

1, Get fitter and healthier - In a number of ways. 

a, Walk / run - aiming to do a 5k run for charity by the end of the year, (check! 42 minutes and £200 raised! Great way to spend a Sunday.)

b, Do more exercise in general - mainly on the Wii as well as walking. (fail, though did walk up and down over 300 stairs yesterday)c, Have a better daily routine - including eating breakfast more often. (still working on this one – though did get home the other night and put the clean clothes straight away, so that's an improvement)

2, Blog more - I'm not saying how regularly, but more often! (check – 68 blogs in the year including this one, not bad going)

3, Worry less about the future!!! 2012 is gonna be scary but worrying helps no one! (well I don’t think I’ve let it stress me out too much...)

4, Stop being so obsessed with marriage. (this one I swapped early on, and with 5 weddings and being asked to be a maid of honour in 2013 it wasn’t really going to happen
4,ii – grade 5 music theory (check, passed yay)

5, Be more fair trade:

a, Only buy clothes that are fair trade or second hand (mostly – I failed twice, once when I had a voucher if I spent £20 on clothes I’d get money off  petrol, and some stockings that I needed for a wedding - blame Simon!)

b, Give up non-fair trade chocolate.(fail, though given the choice and when I’m buying I’ll get fair trade)

6, Be wiser with money.

a, Reviewing giving - not give less but do more with what I give. (well I’ve done that in the past week...)

b, Review my spending. (had some slight cash flow issues, I need to be more careful with expenses)c, Make more sandwiches / packed lunches rather than buying them. (sometimes, something to work on)

7, Pray More! Lancashire district are having a year of prayer I'm hoping to get involved in a number of ways! First plan is to say grace more often before meals. Maybe find a spiritual director. (I’ve prayed more, try to say grace, acknowledging  God’s presence. Never found a spiritual director)Don’t know if that is complete, but nor so bad! 

So onwards and upwards.

There have been three things recently that have made me think of time.

I’ve just read a book by Rachel Held Evans called A Year of Biblical Womanhood. A year is a long time, and in her book Rachel tells how she lived a year out following 'Biblical ideals of womanhood', different targets each month, cooking, sleeping in a tent during her period, trying to sew, sitting on a roof. It’s a fab book and I’d highly recommend it. One of my favourite parts was the times she talked about her marriage. One thing I’d like to ensure in my relationship is the sense of team – as we would say ‘Team Matt and Rach’ (happy now Grandad?) when we had achieved something together.

Somehow this year I ended up helping my parents think about Christmas Presents for each other. My Dad bought my Mum a coffee making, also told her the price when he came into the dining room where me and Mum were asking who’d bought something from Groupon on the credit card. My Mum decided eventually to by my Dad an ‘experience’ so yesterday the four of us went up Manchester Town Hall Clock Tower. The hour long tour ensured we were at the mechanism of the clock at 2:45, and being able to watch the seconds tick away, and then in the room with the bell at 3pm. It was interesting to stand in a place that had been there for so long – I’ve never been very interested in history, but I do like being in places that are old and have a story to them. In this case they are on the second bell as the first one cracked and the numbers on the clock aren’t in fact numbers at all. The view from the top of the 173 steps was rather incredible, despite it being a grey day. (I know I said 300 earlier, that's because its 173 after you’ve got to the top of the building in the first place)

And then of course there was the end of time! I loved a Dr Who meme – where the Doctor is annoyed at people for thinking it was a mistake, rather than him who saved the World again.

Something I’ve learnt in the past week or so is not to expect things to end as I believe they will. A few days this week I’ve ended up staying at my parents on nights I was expected to be at home. Once as my parents were ill so I went off to look after them, the next time I was at the start of this cold so went to my parents two days early so I wouldn’t get iller and stuck at home, not being able to get ‘home’ for Christmas.Today has been rather lovely, waking up with boyfriend in the other room is once again a treat. Then the dedication of a beautiful baby boy, lovely lunch and then an afternoon of playing with Christmas toys, feeling sorry for myself and watching Downton Abbey.

So what a year! Who would have thought a year ago this is where we would have been.I liked having aims for the year, but this year I only have two!

Drum roll please.

1.                      Get on with Faith and Worship – this is my Local Preaching training! I only have a few years to do this, so I better get on with it. If I worked hard I could get it finished by the end of the year.

2.                      Cooking. One of things inspired by the A Year of Biblical Womanhood – and not because I believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen, but because I quite like cooking and would like to extend my range. So the plan is 12 new things, one each month. Think I’ll start with soup, and would like to make bread.

So bring it on 2013!

 One last thought! At church today we sung “this is our God the servant king” and earlier in the year I was thinking (and blogging) of how I could do anything more for God? But what this song pointed out to me today was that its about giving each day to God, who came to be our servant, He never asks us to do something he hasn’t done already himself. So day by day and month by month Let’s see what the new year shall bring.

Me, My friends and Christmas

I’ve always loved tests – by that before you label me as a geek I mean personality tests: Myers-Briggs, IQ tests, those sorts of things. I’m also a bit of a self-reflector – probably why I like blogging. Myers-Briggs usually puts me as an extrovert; it’s close, but certainly more extroverted than introverted. I do enjoy my alone time. Tonight I was walking home from work across Lancaster, trying to remember where I’d left my car, thinking about this blog. Similarly I love thinking when I’m driving, so much so that an old housemate (not old, well older than me, but a previous housemate) got me a notebook for my Birthday/Christmas and in it wrote “I thought you could keep [this notebook] in your glove box to record all the great ideas that come to you when you are driving (when it’s safe and legal to do so!)”

However it’s a bit strange at the moment to be on my own. I’ve spent about 40 hours this week at my parents house – the place people keep asking me when I’m going home for Christmas to, ignoring the fact I’ve never really lived there as they moved in ‘the year of all the house moves’ aka 2010. My parents are both ill, though Mum has managed to do a funeral today, so Tuesday evening I drove over there, after a wonderful 8 year old gave me some sweets to give to my poorly parents as I couldn’t go to his Christingle Service as I had to go home. This meant I was there ready to take parents to doctors Wednesday morning – the main reason for me going really, as Brother isn’t insured to drive them. Brother and I then got writing the Christmas cards – well he wrote (as he’s got mum’s neat handwriting) and I found all the names and stuck the addresses on the envelopes. We played many card games, I typed up the funeral talk and found out we couldn’t do a Tesco order, so this morning Brother and I went to Sainsburys, where he got double nectar points on the mammoth Christmas shop! What I’ve realised is that I would have had a very different childhood had I been a young carer, and Brother is better at it than me: he walked the dog, did some washing up and made me coffee.

It’s funny really. When Mum was the age I was now she had me. I would have been about 16 months at this point; I feel a bit young to be the caregiver of a child. Babysitting is ok, cuddling little ones at work is fine - I get to give them back. I also thought I would have a few more years before I had to look after my parents and to be fair to them, they are hardly ever ill, and should be well soon so life will be back to normal.

I’ve quite enjoyed buying Christmas presents. In my opinion there’s no point in earning money if I don’t get to share it with others I love. My kinda adoptive family have fed me most weeks of the year and one way of saying thanks and “I love you guys” is by buying them all gifts.

What I’m trying to say is that friendship is really important. I love my time alone, but I thrive best with other people, whether that be looking after my parents, playing card games with Brother or other friends, getting cuddles while reading the same book over and over again with a 2 year old and just the quality time spent with friends. We all need a bit of help sometimes - recently Boyfriend spent his day off helping me get on top of the washing up – cos he’s fab like that.

So this Christmas, if you manage to forget, it’s actually about Jesus being born. Remember it’s about love, friendship, being generous and hugs.

And if I don’t blog again before next Tuesday – Merry Christmas.